Did you know that on factory farms they snip the little curly pig tails off of baby pigs soon after they're born? They do this because they take piglets away from their mothers when they're still nursing (ten days old!) and throw them into a barn filled with hundreds of other piglets. Piglets still have the sucking reflex and want to nurse but they can't so they start to chew and suck the pig tail in front of them.
To avoid this, the farmers nipp the tail at the bud.
Awful. Just awful. I can't eat pork anymore.
Reading to my Animals
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I declare!
I'm having a rummage sale Saturday and am NOT selling any of little boys, little boy clothes, bouncy chair, horsie swing, um, what else? NOT selling my breast pump, bottles, nursing bras, maternity clothes, or infant swing. NOT doing. not doing it. N-O-T doing it.
Just wanted to be clear.
Just wanted to be clear.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Mourning
Let me start off by saying we had another floater. I think he's doing it on purpose now. Ick!
Motherhood has seriously twisted my brain. Decisions made that I was pretty secure in and the ways I had defined my life have flip flopped and turned upside down. I've really been fine with it with the exception of a few emotional collapses. Thank God Pat is there to pick me up and bring me back to reality that my life really is good, we have a loving family, food in the fridge, jobs, health, etc. Those things are often hard to see when I'm in the middle of a serious, fetal position - my life sucks - I'm a horrible wife, mother, state of mind.
As it goes, another chapter has turned in my life as "mom." Aedan is officially weaned...I on the otherhand am not weaned.
Nursing was one of those things I was positive would not be something I even cared to try. The thought of me nursing grossed me out. I was totally fine with other women who chose it but I wasn't going to. Once I got pregnant it all changed. As soon as the nurse handed him to me I started nursing, he latched right on, all was good. It became our private time, our time to be close and quiet. I wasn't one of the moms who nursed in public. I escaped to my room upstairs, nursed and watched little boy drift...I'd eventually drift too. It was a very peaceful time when I could just look down on this beautiful little boy and think just how awesome the experience of becoming a mother has been and how it simply is unimaginable not to have him with us. I would soak in the sweet splendor of his smell.
Over the last few weeks he could take it or leave it. I needed to get the hint: He's just not that in to you. It's not like I forced him to nurse. I stuck to our morning and evening routine but the time spent became shorter and shorter. I resisted the (subtle) pressure I had been getting from some family and friends...the questions about when I was going to stop. I would always respond, when he's ready. I forged ahead.
Last weekend we departed from our morning routine and he was fine as expected. He drank milk from his sippy cup and ate cheerios with me on the couch while watching Sesame Street. It was fun. He giggled everytime Elmo showed up on the screen or was that Elmo's cousin? (New task: learn Sesame Street characters.)
I had a lovely dinner out with friends last night. Pat was in charge of getting Aedan down. I realize that he's also started a new chapter. The night time routine of bed, book and bath is not only mine but can be shared between mom and dad. It's his turn to enjoy a slice of the quiet, peaceful alone time I've had with Aedan over the last 416 nights (+,-).
It's bitter sweet. I have a little more freedom without (some of) the worry about whether he's in bed sleeping or running around like a lunatic looking for me. On the other hand, when I got home, a piece of me wanted to know he was difficult, screaming bloody murder and calling out my name.
He wasn't. He was calm. He let Pat rock him a little and then he was ready for his bed.
It reminds me that our children are only ours for a very short time. Time is going by and it makes me a little sad.
Motherhood has seriously twisted my brain. Decisions made that I was pretty secure in and the ways I had defined my life have flip flopped and turned upside down. I've really been fine with it with the exception of a few emotional collapses. Thank God Pat is there to pick me up and bring me back to reality that my life really is good, we have a loving family, food in the fridge, jobs, health, etc. Those things are often hard to see when I'm in the middle of a serious, fetal position - my life sucks - I'm a horrible wife, mother, state of mind.
As it goes, another chapter has turned in my life as "mom." Aedan is officially weaned...I on the otherhand am not weaned.
Nursing was one of those things I was positive would not be something I even cared to try. The thought of me nursing grossed me out. I was totally fine with other women who chose it but I wasn't going to. Once I got pregnant it all changed. As soon as the nurse handed him to me I started nursing, he latched right on, all was good. It became our private time, our time to be close and quiet. I wasn't one of the moms who nursed in public. I escaped to my room upstairs, nursed and watched little boy drift...I'd eventually drift too. It was a very peaceful time when I could just look down on this beautiful little boy and think just how awesome the experience of becoming a mother has been and how it simply is unimaginable not to have him with us. I would soak in the sweet splendor of his smell.
Over the last few weeks he could take it or leave it. I needed to get the hint: He's just not that in to you. It's not like I forced him to nurse. I stuck to our morning and evening routine but the time spent became shorter and shorter. I resisted the (subtle) pressure I had been getting from some family and friends...the questions about when I was going to stop. I would always respond, when he's ready. I forged ahead.
Last weekend we departed from our morning routine and he was fine as expected. He drank milk from his sippy cup and ate cheerios with me on the couch while watching Sesame Street. It was fun. He giggled everytime Elmo showed up on the screen or was that Elmo's cousin? (New task: learn Sesame Street characters.)
I had a lovely dinner out with friends last night. Pat was in charge of getting Aedan down. I realize that he's also started a new chapter. The night time routine of bed, book and bath is not only mine but can be shared between mom and dad. It's his turn to enjoy a slice of the quiet, peaceful alone time I've had with Aedan over the last 416 nights (+,-).
It's bitter sweet. I have a little more freedom without (some of) the worry about whether he's in bed sleeping or running around like a lunatic looking for me. On the other hand, when I got home, a piece of me wanted to know he was difficult, screaming bloody murder and calling out my name.
He wasn't. He was calm. He let Pat rock him a little and then he was ready for his bed.
It reminds me that our children are only ours for a very short time. Time is going by and it makes me a little sad.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Beware of the Floater
Ahh bathtime. We give the little boy a bath every other night, sometimes every night depending on how dirty he's gotten that day. For fourteen months it's been the same routine: go upstairs, take clothes and diaper off, let Aedan run around naked acting silly, run bath, put all of tub toys in tub, grab towel and wash cloth, put Aedan in tub. Let the cleaning and playing commense. After a few minutes of playtime and splashing we're done. Ready for bed.
Being a creature of habit as I am this really is how every other night when there's a bath involved goes. I know, I'm pretty boring.
Last night a HUGE wrench was thrown into the program. It's called a floater! I've heard about other kids doing this but so far we've been lucky. I mean, we haven't escaped the golden shower in and outside of the tub but that's been ok. I've dealt with it.
(GRAPHIC)
As I was getting ready to take Aedan out of the tub, all of a sudden, two brown poops came floating by me. He was standing in the tub and they just dropped out! I understand that at this age he doesn't have control but I freaked. It was disgusting!!! I yelled for Pat who didn't respond. I yelled again, no response. I YELLED for a third time and finally got a "what?" "Bring me paper towels and a plastic bag," I yelled. Meanwhile Aedan was giggling but as I was bending over the tub trying to keep him out of the minefield of shitake, I kind of freaked him out. It was so gross.
I drained the tub handed over the boy who barely escaped the poo to Pat. As I was cleaning fecal matter out of the tub I couldn't help to think that this is what my life has come down to: scrubbing shitake out of the very thing that is supposed to make us clean. My life really has changed. It was a very humbling moment. A very gross moment but humbling all the same.
Being a creature of habit as I am this really is how every other night when there's a bath involved goes. I know, I'm pretty boring.
Last night a HUGE wrench was thrown into the program. It's called a floater! I've heard about other kids doing this but so far we've been lucky. I mean, we haven't escaped the golden shower in and outside of the tub but that's been ok. I've dealt with it.
(GRAPHIC)
As I was getting ready to take Aedan out of the tub, all of a sudden, two brown poops came floating by me. He was standing in the tub and they just dropped out! I understand that at this age he doesn't have control but I freaked. It was disgusting!!! I yelled for Pat who didn't respond. I yelled again, no response. I YELLED for a third time and finally got a "what?" "Bring me paper towels and a plastic bag," I yelled. Meanwhile Aedan was giggling but as I was bending over the tub trying to keep him out of the minefield of shitake, I kind of freaked him out. It was so gross.
I drained the tub handed over the boy who barely escaped the poo to Pat. As I was cleaning fecal matter out of the tub I couldn't help to think that this is what my life has come down to: scrubbing shitake out of the very thing that is supposed to make us clean. My life really has changed. It was a very humbling moment. A very gross moment but humbling all the same.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Kate?
Pat and Carrick said that my new haircut makes me look like Kate Gosslin! I'm not sure what to make of this.
If they had said it a year ago I wouldn't have made a big deal of it (in my head). But now, now that Kate has really done of the deep end and the foundation of the show has turned from a glimpse into every day life with eight kids to an over-the-top look at how a TV show has turned a Pennsylvania family into money makers and mean-spirited people maker and into product placement galore, my reaction to the comment has me wanting to chop off my already short cropped hair!!!
Why don't people get it? You simply CANNOT make any kind of comment about a woman's hair unless it is, "Honey...you are so cute, so beautiful! I didn't think you could look any more beautiful but this haircut is perfect for you!" It's a pretty easy thing to do in my mind.
Needless to say, any snarl of my lip, request without a "please" or snarky remark got me the "Now you really do look like Kate Gosslin!" Arg!
If they had said it a year ago I wouldn't have made a big deal of it (in my head). But now, now that Kate has really done of the deep end and the foundation of the show has turned from a glimpse into every day life with eight kids to an over-the-top look at how a TV show has turned a Pennsylvania family into money makers and mean-spirited people maker and into product placement galore, my reaction to the comment has me wanting to chop off my already short cropped hair!!!
Why don't people get it? You simply CANNOT make any kind of comment about a woman's hair unless it is, "Honey...you are so cute, so beautiful! I didn't think you could look any more beautiful but this haircut is perfect for you!" It's a pretty easy thing to do in my mind.
Needless to say, any snarl of my lip, request without a "please" or snarky remark got me the "Now you really do look like Kate Gosslin!" Arg!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
not too much
I feel like to should be writing something...something profound...something deep...something awesome but the words aren't there. I don't want to force them to come because then they won't be real but full of empty meaning. I'm tired. My husband hears it from me all of the time. Seems like no matter how much sleep I get I'm still tired. blah blah blah. I think I need to eat more greens.
On the other hand Aedan IS awesome - a truly magical gift that makes me smile even on my most tired of days. Last night we feel asleep together when I was nursing him at 7:30 pm! That was funny. I'm glad my stepson didn't walk in the room to see that. He'd be ruined for life, I'm sure!
Speaking of my stepson...that's a topic I can write about. He's 15 and lately Pat's said like 4 or 5 times that the conversation he's going to have with Aedan (once he's old enough) about CTP and why he's only at our house every other weekend is going to be awkward. I told Pat that he simply needs to tell Aedan that in his (Pat) younger days he was a "playa!" But seriously, that will be a toughie - how do you explain to your son that he and his brother have two different mothers but the same father? Now if it were me talking to Aedan about (and I'm certain everyone will be better if I don't) I would have to say, "Aedan - your dad, while he is oh so smart, was very, very dumb when he was younger, and one day, because he was so dumb he met this ugly, horrible person who, with her wicked, wicked ways, slipped a roofie in his drink. Daddy had no idea what happened to him but then 9 months later CTP was here. We're all very happy that CTP is here but that wicked, ugly, mean other person who shall never be named only lives like 2 blocks away." See, I would be no good at that conversation. You'd think that after almost 11 years I'd be over this. Um, not so much. God help me to be over this.
I'm assuming (ass=me) by the time that conversation needs to happen Aedan will probably have friends with similar family dynamics. Maybe it won't be so strange. Who knows. All I know is that when CTP comes to our house Aedan's face lights up like the carnival just came to town!
We were really worried about the age difference between the two of them but I think it's working...for now anyway. Love is love no matter how many years are spaced in between. He's a great older brother to Aedan. He does all of the things he should do - makes goofy faces, kicks the soccer ball around, plays on the floor, sticks his tongue out to get Aedan to do it back, etc.
Love is nice.
On the other hand Aedan IS awesome - a truly magical gift that makes me smile even on my most tired of days. Last night we feel asleep together when I was nursing him at 7:30 pm! That was funny. I'm glad my stepson didn't walk in the room to see that. He'd be ruined for life, I'm sure!
Speaking of my stepson...that's a topic I can write about. He's 15 and lately Pat's said like 4 or 5 times that the conversation he's going to have with Aedan (once he's old enough) about CTP and why he's only at our house every other weekend is going to be awkward. I told Pat that he simply needs to tell Aedan that in his (Pat) younger days he was a "playa!" But seriously, that will be a toughie - how do you explain to your son that he and his brother have two different mothers but the same father? Now if it were me talking to Aedan about (and I'm certain everyone will be better if I don't) I would have to say, "Aedan - your dad, while he is oh so smart, was very, very dumb when he was younger, and one day, because he was so dumb he met this ugly, horrible person who, with her wicked, wicked ways, slipped a roofie in his drink. Daddy had no idea what happened to him but then 9 months later CTP was here. We're all very happy that CTP is here but that wicked, ugly, mean other person who shall never be named only lives like 2 blocks away." See, I would be no good at that conversation. You'd think that after almost 11 years I'd be over this. Um, not so much. God help me to be over this.
I'm assuming (ass=me) by the time that conversation needs to happen Aedan will probably have friends with similar family dynamics. Maybe it won't be so strange. Who knows. All I know is that when CTP comes to our house Aedan's face lights up like the carnival just came to town!
We were really worried about the age difference between the two of them but I think it's working...for now anyway. Love is love no matter how many years are spaced in between. He's a great older brother to Aedan. He does all of the things he should do - makes goofy faces, kicks the soccer ball around, plays on the floor, sticks his tongue out to get Aedan to do it back, etc.
Love is nice.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Longing for the Sick Days
Not really. I truly do not wish sickness on our little one. We are five days post-hospital visit and raging fever and I'm happy to say that Aedan is back to acting like a "normal" 14 month old. Thank goodness!
However, we couldn't help to think last night as we were
- closing the bathroom door for the tenth time (so he couldn't play in the toilet water) or,
- putting the tupperware back into the cupboard at the end of the night or,
- putting the cat food bowl out of hands reach or,
- closing the tub that contains the dog food (b/c he thoroughly enjoys grabbing hand fulls of dog food and throwing it to Bailey) or,
- turning the garbage can towards the wall (so he wouldn't throw garbage on the floor, feed the dog, or eat it himself),
that, in a small space of our hearts we wanted the hours of snot-filled cuddle time and sweet kisses back (minus the fever). There certainly are more "ors" but I'm making myself tired typing them because tonight is a new night afterall and we're going to do it all over again!
Oh sweet boy whatever did I do with my free time before you arrived?
However, we couldn't help to think last night as we were
- closing the bathroom door for the tenth time (so he couldn't play in the toilet water) or,
- putting the tupperware back into the cupboard at the end of the night or,
- putting the cat food bowl out of hands reach or,
- closing the tub that contains the dog food (b/c he thoroughly enjoys grabbing hand fulls of dog food and throwing it to Bailey) or,
- turning the garbage can towards the wall (so he wouldn't throw garbage on the floor, feed the dog, or eat it himself),
that, in a small space of our hearts we wanted the hours of snot-filled cuddle time and sweet kisses back (minus the fever). There certainly are more "ors" but I'm making myself tired typing them because tonight is a new night afterall and we're going to do it all over again!
Oh sweet boy whatever did I do with my free time before you arrived?
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