From a Family of 3 to 4 Overnight

I've blogged before about my rigid, routine ways before. People who know me know I am proprietary about my space. When something is about to change I need it to be done gradually and incrementally. Before bringing Aedan into the world I had a solid 9 months to prepare. That's a good amount of time.

I don't think I've ever used this blog to talk about my stepson other than a rant about his mother and no I won't tell you which post it was from. You'll have to dig for it so there.

CTP is 15 years old. He's a good kid - smart, funny, handsome. It's hard to believe I've know him for the last 12 years. He's sarcastic like his dad which drives me BONKERS! One Pat is manageable...two Pat's is enough to make you crazy and I just know there's a third one on the way named Aedan.

CTP hasn't ever lived with us. We've had the traditional paternal visitation schedule - every other weekend, one night for dinner. Definitely not the kind of schedule that allows for bonding between father and son. Truly, it sucks for dads and moms for that matter that get stuck with a schedule like that. But we've done what we've done for several years now.

Until now. CTP lives with us currently. His choice, well and the court ordered temporary change in visitation. We're trying it out. Seeing if it works. Making sure he's OK with it.

It's going to be a big adjustment for all of us. We're starting the second week and so far so good. It's crazy wonderful to see the bond that's growing between him and Aedan. Aedan's always loved CTP and I think he feels the same about Aedan. Now Aedan wakes up and "Tarrick" is nearly the first word out of his mouth. (The first word is "mommy" of course, duh.) Aedan climbs all over CTP, plays catch and just plain lights up when he enters the room.

Awesome.

There is nothing in the world like love. I love my husband, my family, my child - those are given. To witness unconditional love between siblings is simply beautiful.

So back to my territorial nature. It's hard getting used to him being there around the clock. There are things you can't do with a teenager in the house. There are things Pat and I can't do with a teenager in the house (snicker, snicker, sorry mom.). A lot more rule setting and rule enforcing. Heavens, there's a lot more carting around!

And, I'm still trying to sort out my role as stepmom...am I just the adult friend in the house, do I discipline? At the same time I need to stay consistent for Aedan.

We have roughly 2 years left before CTP goes off to college. TWO YEARS. It reminds me of someone that said, "You really only have 18 years with your children and then they're released into the world." God I hope that wasn't Kate from John and Kate plus 8. Did I really just quote her?

I'm hoping for Pat, Carrick's and Aedan's sake that the "temporary" becomes "official." Pat deserves a chance to get to know his oldest boy...Carrick deserves to know his father...Aedan needs to know and love his brother.