nothing new....really.

I figured that if I didn't post something soon I'd be hung up by my underwear.

I think I'm getting to that point mothers do when you throw your hands up, dump all of the theories, books and suggestions on how to raise your kid, and surrender to the little human being. I listen patiently as people give suggestions. I try not to roll my eyes. I try to not bark back and say whatever. I try to remember that I'm an adult. I try.

Surrending for me is new territory. I fight for the last word. I generally think my way is the right way. I'm pretty critical - although I tend to do this quietly so no one can see that side of me...well except for my mom and Pat but that's it. But for the most part I've tried to take in and try out the suggestions I get from people.

As we've been having the sleeping issues I've heard all kinds of suggestions. When I said Aedan was sleeping in our bed we heard most predomimantly, "Oh No! You'll never get him out." From our nurse home visitor I heard, "You either need to fight the sleeping battle now or fight it when he's two." I get that raised eyebrow look like they want to say something but they're not going to. What's with all of this battle language and fighting and end-of-the-world feeling?

I was thinking about the if you don't get him to sleep on his own in his own bed now you'll never get him out comment. Is there really truth to that? If it were the truth wouldn't there be like a gazillion 20 year olds still sleeping with their parents? That's just strange.

I'm not saying I love it that Aedan sleeps with us occassonally but there is some sweetness to it that I'd like to savor for a little while. And...as crazy as it sounds....when he does make it through a night I sort of wake up around 5 a.m. half-way hoping he'll start crying and want me to come get him so I can eat up the deliciousness of him that last hour before we start the day. We only have this time together for a short while. I figure as a mom to a boy child I really have a short period of time when all he wants is mom. As he gets older I'm certain he'll want dad most of the time. You know...for guy reasons. I'm just guessing that'll be the way it goes.

Maybe this is my way of saying that I think I'm really becoming a mom to my boy. I love all of the strong women and mothers around me and am so thankful for the support and experience they bring to my life. But, I guess I'm also saying that I think I'm finding my rhythm as a mother...even if the rhythm ain't sounding like Bach or Beethoven.

Peace out. I'm going to take a nap now because the boy is sleeping with me tonight! he he.