Patrick: Please Post a Blog!

I am certain that Pat has his own feelings about this pregnancy of "OURS." Please request that he post something by commenting where it says, "add comment."

Scary Speeding Cars

I wouldn't say that I am a fearful person in general. When I was younger I would jump at the chance to bungee, climb water falls, touch bugs, get a new tattoo or piercing, and of course some other not-so-smart teenage activities I regret participating in. In any case, you get what I mean.

As I've grown older some of those more risk taking adventures are beginning to make me cringe. I'm not as daring as I once used to be or sometimes still think I am inside my head. And this babe in my belly has definitly thrown a wrench in my adventure seeking nature! Don't get me wrong, I'm not begrudging the fact that I'm limited in what I can do now, it's just a really strange feeling.

I'm becoming, before Aedan has even been born, a barrier between the scary world and him.

But one thing that I guess people think are barriers has always annoyed me. (I apologize if anyone reading this has actually used what I am about to make fun of.) You know those "Baby on Board" signs you see overly protective parents displaying in their car windows? Like a mere sign will protect the precious little one on board from a car zooming at 100 MPH! It's too late once they can actually read what the small print says. The signs are pretty stupid. Is everyone else free for all if you don't have a baby on board?

Over the past few days however I've been feeling like I really need some sort of signage. It wouldn't be a small yellow sign but would look more like thick, yellow caution tape wrapped all around my car and my body for that matter. I've noticed that I cringe every time a car whips around a corner or when I'm being tailgated by some crazy person. Just this morning as I was walking through the car garage to my office another car zoomed at me like my belly was a target! I find myself saying things (out loud!) like, "Can you not see the belly?" or, "Hello, I'm pregnant, jack@$$!"

If anyone knows of a place I can get some caution tape please let me know. Thanks :-)

Time Is Standing Still.

This is not a rant a complaint but rather an self-proclaimed observation.

You get to a point in pregnancy when there really isn't much left to do but sit and wait. You're waiting for that magical day to happen when all of a sudden you lose your mucus plug (ick! even the word sounds gross!), your water breaks or you begin having contractions. Each of these "events" don't sound like much fun but they do however signify a powerful moment when the pregnancy journey is about to end. Phew!

The nursery is complete - props to Patrick for all of HIS hard work, baby shower thrown, Aedan has enough clothes, diapers and wipes to get him through at least the first week, I've taken my birthing class, am practicing my breathing, and Pat has promised to work on my ipod playlist of soothing sounds that of course will not include any old school LL Cool J or Rob Zombie surprises as motivation to get me through the last stage of birth.

We're now just about 34 weeks in and all I have to do is sit, think and imagine what my life will be like in 6 weeks, give or take. For any of you that really know me, I am no good at waiting. I might very well be one of the most impatient people you know. However, I am able to hide this truth very well but if you were inside of my brain you'd hear a very different story. I'm not proud of it.

Maybe this is God's way of teaching me the art of patience? If he is, I am not a very good student.

No More Rants...

I was brought back to earth by Patrick a few days ago in his oh-so-gentle way of telling me that I've seemed miserable this entire pregnancy. I didn't want nor did I expect to hear that. It really upset me. But sometimes people are able to shed light on our behaviors and attitudes that we aren't able to see through our own rose-colored lens.

P.S. If you ever need someone to do that for you, Pat is your guy!

Anyway, this got me to thinking that when I'm asked how I'm feeling or even if they don't ask I generally focus on my ailments first rather than the really great things I feel. For example, it's great to feel Aedan move around every time I eat bananas and peanut butter. It's not so great to feel the sciatica pain but I've been focusing on the pain. So rather than speaking of negatives I'm only going to talk about the wonderful things I've learned to love.

Here's my list so far:

• The attention. I love attention (just ask Pat!) and my growing belly has given me a bounty of it.


• Wiggles (not the Australian type). Big, giant, body moving wiggles that I now get the pleasure of feeling around the clock.


• Weird bodily functions. I don't have to make up a reason for them...I simply say, "I'm pregnant, what do you expect?"


• Shopping! I can buys lots of really cool stuff for myself and Aedan without one single ounce of guilt. Oh - shoe shopping specifically! My feet are growing therefore I need new shoes!


• Baths! Nightly I can soak myself again without the guilt of feeling like I should be doing something more productive!


• Naps. The baby needs his rest!


• Forgetfullness. I've had an 8 month excuse for forgetting EVERYTHING. It's been blissful. You simply cannot yell at a pregnant woman for forgetting stuff - she's got way more on her mind.
  

The most important aspect of my Pat-induced realization is that I feel like I've been short-changing Aedan which is so not fair. He needs to know how excited his mom and dad are to see his sweet face and that all of the aches and pains I've experienced and subsequently made Pat experience has been well worth it. He needs to know that yes, his mom is crazy and prone to breaks in sanity but above all else, she has lots and lots of love to give her little one.

Doctors are Devils

Early on I was impressed by the compassion and time that the various OB's and midwives took with me. Having never been pregnant before they really met the expectations or lack there of that I had. As I've been cycling through the providers in the practice my non-existant expectations suddenly became very high and then in two different vists were shattered.

Pregnancy is a weird thing. You go from knowing your pregnant but not really because you're not showing yet to all of a sudden feeling very pregnant and the growth on your front side being the focus of EVERYONE's attention. The same is true with my progression at the OB. You go from nonchalant visits to all of a sudden, HOLY CRAP you've gained 10 pounds in 4 weeks and that will increase your chances of a c-section and OH MY you'll probably be in pain so you'll definitly want to consent to an epidural that, by the way, you could DIE from.

What ever happened to treating pregnant women as cherished vessels and not contributing to their already poor body image most likely damaged by images of malnutritioned models?

I want to be a cherished vessel. Don't tell me I've gained too much weight! Do you think I haven't seen my arse growing in the mirror? Do you really think that I think I should have eaten that entire package of cashew nougat archway cookies over christmas? I'm pregnant and I get hungry. So please, medical people... Get off my arse. Be nice to me. Let me eat. Answer my questions without judgement and for the love of pete don't tell me about pain.